Below are examples of basic negotiating terms and how they apply to successfully bargaining with your pup.

COMMON GOALS

The first thing to realize is that you and your dog generally have the same goals.  Whether it’s eating, playing, sleeping or pooping, you’re both on the same page.  Phew.  It’s much easier to go into negotiations with that in mind.  And it’s good to always remember-

THE GOLDEN RULE

Yep.  That age old adage of ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’.  Put yourself into your pup’s shoes.  When you have a crazy chocolate craving and bust into your kids leftover Halloween candy, would you like your dog yelling at you and putting you in a time out?  Have a little patience.  A canine-human relationship is a long and rewarding one.

INTEREST BASED NEGOTIATING

You both have an interest to succeeding in these negotiations.  For example:  your pup loves to bark—or talk.  He talks to everyone.  The mailman, your kid’s friends, the squirrel that teases him through the window every night.  You, want some peace and quiet.  Even for a few hours.  Your negotiations are beneficial to you both.   This helps to know that both of you are not making outrageous requests.  And it helps to compromise a bit.  Maybe your pup isn’t getting outside enough?  Taking him for a walk or to the dog park can let out built up energy.  In turn, let him know that barking at 10 at night is not acceptable.  What strategy will work though?  Below are two approaches.  One is great, the other not so great.

REINFORCEMENT PRINCIPLE

The idea behind this principle is positive reinforcement.  Because dogs respond to our tone and facial/body language, it’s important to let them know when they do something good.  If they perch on the couch, ready to give the mailman an earful, firmly say their name.  When they look at you, indicate for them to get down.  If they listen, then smile or nod your head.  Give them a head scratch and say some positive words.  Dogs love to be rewarded.

RED HERRING

This technique involves falsely misleading the other.  If you take a treat out, and tell your dog to come down from the couch for a treat, and then don’t give it to him, this is a red herring.  It will build distrust between you and your pooch.  Not a good idea.

WIN-WIN

The ultimate goal is for you both to win.  And this can be achieved with small sacrifices. For example: you want to feed your dog healthy and nutrient packed food.  Your dog wants to eat steak and lobster.    To keep your pup from digging out last night’s dinner from the garbage because theirs was just too earthy, try giving him a doggy treat in the morning for a few days.  Then, if he still tears through the garbage, don’t give him one that next morning.  Dogs are smart.  He’ll figure out that being naughty with leftovers means no treat.   You get to keep feeding him the healthy stuff, and he gets a tasty morsel.

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1. Consumer Goods.  If you find an article of clothing with a loose string or a tub of sour cream that is about to expire, find a manager.  Tell them the product has less value than the others and politely ask for a discount.  You’ll be surprised at how many times they will say yes.  Especially if you tell them you have been shopping there for years.
2. Hotel Rates.  Hotels are highly competitive.  If you found the one you’d like to lodge at, call them up.  Ask what their rate is for a standard room.  Then ask to be upgraded for the same price.  Or, you can take a risk and when you check-in, ask to be upgraded for free.  I did this in Mexico and was upgraded to a room on a lazy river…for free.  It’s definitely worth asking!
3. Cosmetic Surgery. Cash definitely rules when dealing with plastic surgeons.  If you can pay up front or even start a payment plan months in advance, you can save up to 25% with many surgeons.  Also, ask for a discount or ‘credit’ for referrals.  Most are willing to offer you that for expanding their business.
4. College Tuition.  If you have multiple kids at the same college, ask for a sibling discount.  Or, if you’re grades are exceptionally good, ask for additional scholarships.  Make an appt. with an advisor and tell them that you deserve financial help and that you are worth it. Many times colleges are willing to negotiate.
5. Parking tickets.  It’s irritating to come out to your car and find that little ticket tucked under your windshield wiper.  Then you look and its $42!  When did the prices for fines go so high?  Luckily, you can negotiate to get it lowered.  And they now let you fax in a written letter to appeal.  Write a polite letter stating that you have a stellar driving record and explain why you got the ticket.  Ask to get it reduced or removed.  A lot of the time, they will do it.

With finances tight, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to bargain lower prices.  You’re stress will be lighter and your wallet fuller.  And that is a great thing.

“Life is the greatest bargain- we get it for nothing.”

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Nobody talks about it.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe it’d scare too many people off from having kids.  Regardless, you’re neck deep in the 4’s.  It’s sound a bit ridiculous at first.  I mean how much grief could a pint size kid give you?  You quickly find out.  At the age of 4, children have developed enough speech skills to communicate what they want, and don’t want.

Suddenly your child, who used cry when they were unhappy and could be consoled with a hug or a time out, can talk back.  Those looks you’ve mastered are now falling onto blind eyes.  They are defiant, testing and smart! Books say that children at this age should be testing boundaries.  And boy they aren’t just a whistling Dixie.

So how do you get through this next stage and keep your sanity? While I don’t know if that’s entirely possible, you can utilize your child’s emerging sense of self and entitlement and apply basic negotiation techniques.

Stay Calm.  I know everyone says it.  And it’s one of the hardest things to do.  Mastering it in any situation is a feat, let alone parenting.  If you can picture your anger and frustration as a physical material that you are throwing at your child, it will change the way you see it.  Trust me.  And kids do feel your anger.

Ask Them.  Kids are pretty savvy these days, even 4 year old ones.  Next time, in an adult voice, ask them what’s wrong.  And tell them to use their words.  You’ll be surprised at what they say.

Chill Out Technique.  In much the same way you need a ‘happy place’ to go to when you’re upset, kids  need one too.  Let them know it’s ok to feel that way and there’s a better way to deal with it.

Follow Through.  One of the hardest parts to punishing your child is actually following through with it.  But how are they to learn from their mistakes if there aren’t repercussions? If they know they’ll go into time out when they talk back, they’ll think twice about it.

Tag Team.  Sometimes, you’re just at your wits end and you need to give yourself a break.  And that’s understandable.  It’s paramount that you have someone who can come in and take over when you’ve run out of rope.  It gives you time to defuse and come back refreshed.  Whether it’s your spouse, partner, mother or grandmother, it’s important to have help.

Reward System.  I swear by this.  It helped me through a very tumultuous year with my 4 year old.  Make up a calendar and tape it to their bedroom door.  Every day that they behave (with minimal tantrums) they get a sticker on that day.  At the end of the week, if they have at least 5 stickers, they get a treat.  If at the end of the month they have at least 20 stickers, they get a special ‘fun day’ with you.  This way, they have visual motivation to behave.

Strike a Deal.  Nobody’s perfect, including you.  And when your child is acting up a lot and constantly getting scolded, it can wear on them too.  Try to make a deal with them.  For example: “Alex, if you will try your best not to throw a fit today, I will try my best to help you with what you need.”  Make it a partnership between the two of you.

There is no exact science to raising kids.  And every one is different.  But if you can use your child’s development as a tool to bargain with them, and in turn teaching them important life lessons, you will have a much better relationship.  Not to mention a happier nervous system.

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Usually, you negotiate with yourself to feel better about indulging in something you know is, well, indulgent.  It’s a way to rationalize your choices.  But how often do you keep up your end of the bargain? It can be easy, after you’ve eaten the cake, to make excuses.  “Well, I worked late so I guessI don’t haveto go to the gym”.  If you can’t hold true to yourself, how can you negotiate with others?

Laying the foundation for successful negotiating starts with you.  These steps can help you hurdle over roadblocks with yourself and out in the world.

1. Set attainable goals.  You wouldn’t walk into a car dealership with $100 and start negotiating a Lamborghini.   As such, promising to go to the gym to burn off the cake calories, when you don’t have a gym membership, is just unreasonable.  Taking the stairs all day instead of the elevator, is a much more attainable goal and
   sure to be successful.
2. Ask yourself: Why? Why are you negotiating with yourself?  When you make an offer on a home, you know that there are comparable houses that are cheaper so the ‘Why’ becomes obvious and therefore can give you conviction while negotiating. The end result becomes worth it.   The same can be applied to you.  If the chocolate cake poses a threat to those 5 pounds you’re trying to lose, then you have a valid reason to bargain with yourself.  The ‘Why’ then becomes clear and in moments of wavering, you can remind yourself that you’re doing it for you.
3. Honesty.  In much the same way that you’d be weary of hiring a shady contractor, you have to be honest with yourself.  You wouldn’t negotiate with a contractor for a new roof if they had a reputation of skipping town before finishing their work.  And you shouldn’t go into negotiations with yourself unless you fully intend to keep your word.  In the end, it’s you who’s cheated.
4. Be willing to compromise.  You want a deal and they want a deal.  It’s the most basic principal behind negotiating.  And it can be applied to ‘mental bargaining’.  You want the cake and you want to lose weight.  You can’t have both entirely without being willing to compromise. Start with, “I’ll eat this slice and run the track after work.”  Then be honest with yourself.  “Ok, it’s raining out.  How about I eat half this slice of cake and take the stairs instead of the elevator.”

Negotiating can be a nerve racking ordeal.  Putting into practice good techniques while negotiating with yourself, is a great way to get your feet wet and ensure future success.  After all, you are your own fiercest competitor.

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Increase Value Before Listing for Sale
Houses that are selling in this buyer’s market are typically the shining stars of the local real estate listings. They are priced right, in excellent condition, and located in preferable neighborhoods. As a seller you can control two of three of these criteria: price and condition.

Price your house right from the start. Many home sellers want to start high, then drop lower. This may sound like an acceptable strategy, but it will hurt you in the end. When a house is fresh on the market it will hit prospective buyers and real estate agents radar and if overpriced, they will most likely move on to the next listing without giving yours another thought. If you drop your price dramatically this may signal distress and those who make offers will do so ferociously. Instead, price your home out of the gate based on the sold prices of comparable properties that have recently sold in your area.

The condition of your house is as equally important as price. Do what you can to make your home sparkle before putting it on the market. Start packing early to declutter your home, give it a good cleaning from top to bottom, and don’t neglect curb appeal. Presenting your home in it’s best light shows prospective buyer’s that you care about your home and you will take the same care during negotiations.

Map Out a Negotiation Plan
Know your bottom line before the offers start rolling. Set this point by looking at recently sold comparable properties in you local area, NOT by how much you owe on the home. Be prepared to sell your home for less that you owe on the mortgage—According to Zillow Inc., 45.7% of mortgaged home in the Chicago metropolitan area have negative equity in the first quarter of 2011.

Compute your total bottom line by taking into consideration potential home repairs, closing costs, realtor’s fees, and final sales price. Work out several scenarios to be prepared for what buyer’s may ask.

When Offers are Made
Have your agent contact the buyer’s agent when an offer comes in to find out as much about the buyer’s plans as possible. Knowing their motivation before the real negotiations start can give you valuable insight.

If an offer comes in at well below asking price, is it because the buyer is at the top of their budget or trying to test the waters? If you offer to pay closing costs, would they be able to increase their offer?

If a buyer is offering asking price, or close to it, are they planning to ask for several home repairs during the inspection? Multiple offers may come in and the one with the highest price is not always the best choice. The rapport that your agent builds with buyer’s agents should help to uncover negotiation strategies.

Don’t sign the contract right away, even if the purchase price is close enough to your asking price to accept. Make them sweat a while so they may rethink negotiating hard for repairs during the inspection process. Usually a seller has 24 hours to 72 hours to respond to a potential buyer. Take the time to look at the offer as a whole.

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait…
Sellers in this market may be anxious to sign off on a deal. Offers may come in well below the asking price and buyers aren’t afraid to play hardball when negotiating. Don’t be tempted to rush through the negotiating process and just get the deal done. This attitude can end up costly you thousands. Don’t put your house “under contract” and take your house off the market before studying recently sold comparables (to ensure their offer is in line with current market conditions), looking at the offer as a whole, and obtaining a buyer’s loan pre-approval letter.

Don’t forget that there is an upside to selling your home in this market—buying your next home. If you plan to buy another home right away, you too will be in a position to play hardball, make aggressive offers, and perhaps even recoup losses during your next home purchase. If you must sell low, then you should buy low. Read more about negotiating the purchase of a home in “5 Tips to Negotiating to Buy a House”.

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“Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.” Acheson, Dean

“The one sure way to conciliate a tiger is to allow oneself to be devoured.” Acheson, Dean

“Negotiating in the classic diplomatic sense assumes parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.” Adenauer, Konrad

“The most difficult thing in any negotiation, almost, is making sure that you strip it of the emotion and deal with the facts. And there was a considerable challenge to that here and understandably so.” Baker, Howard

“The fellow who says he’ll meet you halfway usually thinks he’s standing on the dividing line.” Battista, Orlando A.

“When a man says that he approves something in principal, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it in practice.” Bismarck, Otto Von

“The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people half way.” Boyle, Henry

“Grant graciously what you cannot refuse safely and conciliate those you cannot conquer.” Colton, Charles Caleb

“He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of a diplomat.” Estabrook, Robert

“Most people I ask little from. I try to give them much, and expect nothing in return and I do very well in the bargain.” FeNelon, Francois

“Negotiating means getting the best of your opponent.” Gaye, Marvin

“My father said: “You must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always making all the money, you won’t have many deals.” Getty, J. Paul

“It is a trick among the dishonest to offer sacrifices that are not needed, or not possible, to avoid making those that are required.” Goncharov, Ivan

“The correct strategy for Americans negotiating with Japanese or other foreign clients is a Japanese strategy: ask questions. When you think you understand, ask more questions. Carefully feel for pressure points. If an impasse is reached, don’t pressure. Suggest a recess or another meeting.” Graham, John L.

“If you come to a negotiation table saying you have the final truth, that you know nothing but the truth and that is final, you will get nothing.” Holkeri, Harri

“Never cut what you can untie.” Joubert, Joseph

“In business, you don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.” Karrass, Chester L.

“Prepare by knowing your walk away [conditions] and by building the number of variables you can work with during the negotiation… you need to have a walk away… a combination of price, terms, and deliverables that represents the least you will accept. Without one, you have no negotiating road map.” Keiser

“If I should ever be captured, I want no negotiation – and if I should request a negotiation from captivity they should consider that a sign of duress.” Kissinger, Henry A.

“During a negotiation, it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you will be able to see opportunities more objectively.” Koslow, Brian

“More and more couples are having this negotiation or discussion, but I’m still amazed at the number who aren’t and where the cultural norm sort of kicks in and they just assume that mom’s got to be the one who stays home, not dad.” Levine, James

“If you are planning on doing business with someone again, don’t be too tough in the negotiations. If you’re going to skin a cat, don’t keep it as a house cat.” Levin, Marvin S.

“Flattery is the infantry of negotiation.” Lord Chandos

“Only free men can negotiate. Prisoners cannot enter into contracts.” Mandela, Nelson

“Either we’re going to solve this by realistic negotiation or there will be blood on the border.” Metzger, Tom

“Never forget the power of silence, that massively disconcerting pause which goes on and on and may at last induce an opponent to babble and backtrack nervously.” Morrow, Lance

“Let us move from the era of confrontation to the era of negotiation.” Nixon, Richard M.

“The lesson of all history warns us that we should negotiate only when our military superiority is so convincing that we can achieve our objective at the conference table, and deny the aggressor theirs.” Nixon, Richard M.

“You’re in a much better position to talk with people when they approach you than when you approach them.” Pilgrim, Peace

“Buying is cheaper than asking.” Proverb, German

“A miser and a liar bargain quickly.” Proverb, Greek

“The go-between wears out a thousand sandals.” Proverb, Japanese

“It is high time that the international community tell Saddam Hussein and his regime that this is not an issue of negotiation with the U.N. about obligations that they undertook in 1991.” Rice, Condoleezza

“We’re eyeball to eyeball and the other fellow just blinked.” Rusk, Dean

“I believe that the purpose for which I and my fellow soldiers entered upon this war should have been so clearly stated as to have made it impossible to change them, and that, had this been done, the objects which actuated us would now be attainable by negotiation.” Sassoon, Siegfried

“You must be fully prepared to lose a great deal in order to make a great deal.” Saying

“There’s no road map on how to raise a family: it’s always an enormous negotiation.” Streep, Meryl

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All businesses, no matter what the size, should regularly take a look at their budget to identify areas which can be cut back through the almighty power of negotiation. To start the process, ask yourself the following questions about each of your suppliers:

What is your relationship?

If you have been working with a particular vendor for a while and have established an amicable relationship, setting the stage for a discount can be made easier. State that you have been a regular customer for X amount of time, you are happy with the service and products they have provided and you are committed to keeping your business with them—but you think that your loyalty could be rewarded by a discount on future orders.

In most industry’s it cost approximately 10x’s more to attract new business than to keep current customer’s happy. Most likely, it will be beneficial for you supplier to cut you a deal rather than get another client to replace your business.

For example, I recently needed to purchase 10,000 magnetic business cards to market a project I am working with, but my budget for this need was not quite enough to purchase them from my regular promotional magnet supplier, AdvertisingMagnets.net. Since I have worked with this company in the past and developed friendly rapport with the owner, I decided to bring my problem to him. He was glad to accommodate my request of cutting the cost by 5%. Like I have mentioned oh-so-many times before, you often get what you want—you just have to ask!

You can also check out their customer service history.  We were able to check them out through their BBB information page about their custom magnet business.

How important is your business?

Is your account keeping your vendor’s business afloat, or are you merely one of many that help to pad your suppliers’ profit margin? How much you spend and how big your vendor’s business goes a long way in determining where your negotiation power.

If your business means beans to them, spending the time negotiating with you could cost more than keeping you as a customer. Your position in this case is precarious, at best. Although, if you are working with a local company that counts on your business to bring home the bacon, you can bet that they will do whatever they can to keep you from taking your business elsewhere, including offering you a hefty discount.

Who are their competitors?

In today’s internet era of e-commerce, it is easy to be constantly finding companies willing to undercut competition for a shot at making a new customer happy. Capitalism has done wonders for ensuring that companies offer quality goods at rock bottom prices. You will find this is true for MOST products you require, but NOT ALL. If your supplier has a virtual monopoly on an industry or provides highly specialized goods specific to your trade, they have little incentive to negotiate with the likes of you.

For example, my husband has one client who specializes in selling wingtips to the airlines industry and they have not other competition to speak of—primarily because they are the only ones with the patent on this product and it solves the problem of reducing fuel costs better than any other available on the market today. I would imagine that they are in a position of supreme negotiating power because they can offer this product, which others cannot, and save their clients big bucks on fuel in the process.

Is non-monetary compensation an option?

If you are really keen on cutting down your cost of doing business, consider trading your services for a discount on supplies. The trick to making this arrangement work is to frame your offer in a way that is a win-win for both sides. If you have a website designing business, you can offer to improve the look of your vendor’s site for a trade of goods.

Do you have any suggestions on negotiating with vendors? Let us know so others can learn from your experience.

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Here is how I did it:
Negotiation Research: What special offers are the competitors offering? Dish Network is offering a similar deal for new customers. Sure I don’t want to switch and think their service is weaker than Comcast, but Comcast doesn’t know that.

BATNA: What is my Best Alternative to No Agreement? Well I already have Comcast service and I am happy with it, I am just paying a bit too much for it. So really my alternative to having Comcast sign me up for their program is to maintain the Status Quo. It is not like they are going to cancel my service for trying to negotiate with them. I really have nothing to lose. They don’t have to know that I really don’t plan on switching to Dish Network.

Making the Call: 1-800-COM-CAST (I hate mnemonic phone numbers!) and ask for customer service. Once I get a representative I tell them how much I like the new offer and that I am interested in signing up for it. I already know I don’t qualify but I want them to starting trying to help me out. The Customer Service Representative(CSR) tells me that the offer is only for new customers or existing customers that don’t already have all three services. I politely ask if there is anything they can do. Of course the answer is “no”, but hey the first line usually doesn’t have the authority.

Escalation: I then ask who would have the authority to make a change, especially if I am thinking of changing my service provider? The CSR immediately transfers me to a resolution manager. BINGO! Someone who can actually help. Ok so these resolution managers(or whatever they are called) actually get paid to keep you as a customer but also get a commission for not giving in to your demands. If they give in the make a less commission, if they lose you as a customer they make less than if they give in. So their ultimate goals is to keep you at the status quo but give in before losing you as a customer. I start all over with this Resolution Manager. I tell them I really like the offer and ask if I qualify. Again the answer is “No, it is only for new customers.” I then stay really polite but mention the offer from Dish Network. I then ask them “Why shouldn’t I make the switch to the other company?” Ball game changes!

First Offer: They offer me the plan without some of the bells and whistles. The Resolution Manager is at this point trying to hang on to some of her extra commission for not giving totally in to my requests. My goal here is to stay nice and keep her happy with me but be frank about my willingness to leave(not really.) I tell her that I have some friends that really love Dish Network and that their offer is really enticing. I also tell her that I am a long time customer and have always been really happy with the service that Comcast has given me. Hook Set!

Next Offer: She offers me the plan as advertised. BINGO! I have achieved my goal. I thank the rep for her help(Always have your opponent leave happy) and tell her how happy I am to be able to keep Comcast.

Have you ever had to negotiate with your Cable company? What was your experience?

To Comment visit the original post Negotiating with Comcast for Triple Play.

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Get Connected

To begin networking you can almost start anywhere. Depending on your goals for becoming more socially connected, there countless ways in which to network—from your hometown to across the globe. Here are 25 suggestions to get you started:

1. Join a business networking group, i.e. BNI or Le Tip

2. Attend conferences and workshops in your industry

3. Become a regular at a local coffee shop or bar and get to know those who frequent the establishment

4. Use social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, or Linked-In, to build an online community

5. Contribute to online forums and make connections through common interests.

6. Join a sports team, such as intramural softball

7. If the opportunity arises, become a member on a board

8. Join a private club, gym, or golf course and get to know the members

9. Become a leader on your neighborhood watch

10. Throw parties frequently and invite everyone you know

11. Connect others

12. Stay in touch with your network

13. Practice altruism

14. Request introductions to grow your network

15. Send Birthday and Christmas cards

16. Be a good listener and friend

17. Never gossip, it will get around

18. Invite people out

19. Befriend extroverts with many connections

20. Befriend introverts who will appreciate your acquaintance

21. Always be sincere

22. Take a class of interest, like cooking, dancing, or creative writing where you will meet others

23. Talk to people everywhere you go, you never know who you might meet

24. Always carry business cards, or other form of contact information, with you at all times

25. Don’t be afraid to for something, they can always say no!

What is your favorite way to network?

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When you really think about it, ethics should be a disciple that deserves our attention, especially for those of the business world. After all, if you are in a position of supreme power, like so many scandalous CEO’s, your moral compass should point true.

One area of particular ethical concern is in negotiation. The line between right and wrong can often be hard to find when the pressures on and the stakes are high. How should you go about walking this tightrope of ethical negotiation? Read the following guidelines on negotiation ethics for a start:

Interests of Others

When faced with an ethical dilemma in a negotiation situation the first question you should ask yourself is, “Who and how will my actions affect?” If using questionable tactics in negotiation will have a negative impact on one or more parties, take this time for a detour to explore your next step. It is oaky to take a break during a negotiation if you need time to clear your head to find a better solution.

If you are able, open up and be honest with whom you are negotiating. Share your dilemma and work together to find a resolution. Sometimes candor can be the best way to create win-win solutions.

Relationship Value

If you have an established trust with the other side of the negotiation table, the rules of the game change. When negotiating with a stranger, such as when buying a car, it is expected that you may use more harsh tactics to get what you want. If on the other hand you are negotiating with someone whose relationship you value, like a friend or family member, you should respect that trust and be clear about your intentions from the get-go. If you ignore these unspoken rules, you could end up loosing a lot more than the negotiation.

Ethics Gap

An ethical gap is the point at which you question what is right and wrong. Take into consideration what was previously discussed, the interest of others and relationship value, when you encounter a situation that is not black and white. I will restate what I mentioned above, a time-out during the negotiation can bring light to the situation.

If you are still unsure about what road to take, consult an associate that you trust and get their thoughts on the matter. The act of taking through the decision making process in itself can often revel the answers you seek.

Your Moral Compass

When all else fails, listen to you inner conscious. Everyone has variations of what they consider to be ethical, but this innate moral compass is universal in all of humanity. Whether or not we choose to listen to the angel, or the devil, in us is another story…

Note of Irony: When researching for this article I came across a website selling term papers on Ethical Negotiation to college students. Talk about hypocrisy at its core!

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