Negotiating 101 for Moms

As a mom you face countless negotiations each day. You might begrudge this fact, or you may be oblivious. Whether or not you know it, you use negotiation in everyday situations. All moms can benefit from sharpening their negotiation skills to save family money, time, and unnecessary headaches.

Save Your Family Money

As the mom, you are probably the primary shopper in the household, and therefore hold a lot of the family’s finances in your power. The spending choices you make impact the financial health and future of your family. It is your responsibility to do what you can to save, including negotiating.

We often don’t question the cost of our goods and services and gladly fork over the sticker price with a smile. Instead of always paying full price in department and grocery stores, shop where you have the option to negotiate, like garage sales and farmers markets.

Shopping from individual sellers introduces a human element into a monetary transaction. Negotiation is then possible. The best part of these situations is that they are win-win. The local farmer has to sell his produce today or it ends up in the compost bin. The lady selling her unwanted items will take less than they are marked or they will be donated tomorrow.

Besides negotiating for our goods, we can also get a better deal on household services. Want a better deal on your cable, internet, or phone? It can be as simple as calling and asking. Tell them you have been a loyal customer for X amount of time and you deserve a break on your bill. If they don’t meet your demands, chances are good that their competition will!

Negotiating with Your Husband

Besides being the household’s primary shopper, you have countless other responsibilities at home as the mom. Husbands should help, but unfortunately some do not. Either they don’t know what needs to be done, they are too busy themselves, or simply don’t want to help.

Put into perspective for him what a week looks like for you by tracking the tasks you do everyday for a week and what he could help out with, but DO NOT NAG! Nagging is the number one way you will not get the help you need. Instead, ask him nicely to sit down with you after the kids have gone to bed and show him areas where you would like for him to take the reigns.

Tell him how he could get things done faster, better, etc. He may want to do them just to live up to your expectations. Shower him with praise while he is completes his chores (even if you would normally do things a little differently).

If he is a man who simply will not do “women’s work” let him babysit. You will get things done at twice the speed without having to watch the kids in the process. The kids will also get some much needed bonding time in with their dad.

#1 Rule for Negotiating With Your Kids

By the time kids have reach preschool, they are expert negotiators. They have pretty much spent their whole life up to that point figuring out ways to get what they want. It is a survival technique. The problem is when they get past the toddler stage and are still negotiating with you for everything!

Some kids are more practiced than others. They always ask for more, just because. A perfect example of this is in Ian Falconer’s fantastic children’s book, Olivia:

“Only five books tonight, Mommy,” she says.

“No, Olivia, just one.”

“How about four?”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Oh, all right, three. But that’s it!”

Kids have so many negotiation techniques up their sleeves its ridiculous! Persistence, guilt, and flattery to name a few. The one power that all moms have, but often fail to exercise, it their authority. Once you learn that it is okay to use your authority as a parent and your child learns that “No Means No!” your entire household will become much more peaceful.

So what is the #1 Rule for negotiation with your kids, you ask. Don’t Do It!!!