Skip to content

Body Language and Negotiating

Ok- you’re in a room negotiating with people far older and much wiser than you.  No matter how much you pump yours elf up, let’s face it: they will eat you alive.  What are you to do?

For starters take a few deep breaths, sip some tea and remind yourself that you deserve what you’re asking for.  When you can see straight again, know that you have a secret weapon.  Oh yes, the weapon of body language.  By knowing what your body is conveying, and also the other person’s, you can quickly gain the upper hand.  Body language is tied to our thoughts, not so much our words.

Below is a list of hints that will guide you in knowing what the person you’re negotiating with is thinking.  By making yourself familiar with them, judging and sizing up your opponent can become second nature.

Hand On Cheek vs. Hand Under Chin

When you’re speaking your case, if they put their hand on their cheek, then they’re absorbed and interested in what you’re saying! Keep it up.

However, if their hand is under their chin (holding up their head) generally they are bored and you’ve lost their interest.  Try quickly to gain it back.

Chin Stroking vs. Lint Picking

When you begin testing the waters and start broaching the heart of what you are negotiating for, watch the other person.  If they start stroking their chin, they are about to make a decision.  If they are looking at you in the eye, they are seriously considering your proposal.  Again, this is a good sign so pay attention!

On the other hand if they start picking at invisible lint on their clothes, you’re in muddy waters.  Generally this signifies that they disagree or disapprove with what you’re saying but they feel hesitant to voice it.  This is a great time to ask them how they’re feeling.

Tilting vs. Scratching

Alright, you’ve laid it all on the table (in a very gracious and charming way of course).  As you are wrapping it up, the other person tilts their head as they’re listening.  This is a great sign! They are engaged and interested.  Tilt your head back.  This is a non verbal sign that you are both in agreement.

Wait.  They have an itch. Their ear, nose, neck.  Wow they are really itchy.  Usually, scratching is a sign of deceit.  It deliberately breaks eye contact by performing a seemingly normal function.  It’s a tricky one.  This is usually a good time to ask a direct and forward question.  One that they can’t side step by having a convenient scratch.

Women vs. Men

Do men and women negotiate differently?  You betcha.  One of the biggest differences? Head nodding.  Men tend to nod their head while negotiating only when they agree.  Women, though, will nod their head to acknowledge that they are listening.  But it doesn’t necessarily mean they agree.  So it’s best to ask rather than assume someone agrees with what you’re saying.

Aside from being extremely valuable in negotiations, reading body language can be really fun.  You will start to see how much someone’s gestures reveal what they are really thinking.

“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posted in Tactics.

No comments

By lisa – December 12, 2011

5 Unique Things To Negotiate

When you think of negotiating, what comes to mind? A car, a house or maybe a salary.  While it’s pretty common to negotiate for these things, there are a whole slew of other things you can bargain for.  In these rough economic times, people’s willingness to purchase has gone down but the prices have not.  That doesn’t mean you can’t negotiate a price you feel is unfair.  Below is a list of deals you can negotiate that you might not have thought of.

  1. Consumer Goods.  If you find an article of clothing with a loose string or a tub of sour cream that is about to expire, find a manager.  Tell them the product has less value than the others and politely ask for a discount.  You’ll be surprised at how many times they will say yes.  Especially if you tell them you have been shopping there for years.
  2. Hotel Rates.  Hotels are highly competitive.  If you found the one you’d like to lodge at, call them up.  Ask what their rate is for a standard room.  Then ask to be upgraded for the same price.  Or, you can take a risk and when you check-in, ask to be upgraded for free.  I did this in Mexico and was upgraded to a room on a lazy river…for free.  It’s definitely worth asking!
  3. Cosmetic Surgery. Cash definitely rules when dealing with plastic surgeons.  If you can pay up front or even start a payment plan months in advance, you can save up to 25% with many surgeons.  Also, ask for a discount or ‘credit’ for referrals.  Most are willing to offer you that for expanding their business.
  4. College Tuition.  If you have multiple kids at the same college, ask for a sibling discount.  Or, if you’re grades are exceptionally good, ask for additional scholarships.  Make an appt. with an advisor and tell them that you deserve financial help and that you are worth it. Many times colleges are willing to negotiate.
  5. Parking tickets.  It’s irritating to come out to your car and find that little ticket tucked under your windshield wiper.  Then you look and its $42!  When did the prices for fines go so high?  Luckily, you can negotiate to get it lowered.  And they now let you fax in a written letter to appeal.  Write a polite letter stating that you have a stellar driving record and explain why you got the ticket.  Ask to get it reduced or removed.  A lot of the time, they will do it.

With finances tight, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to bargain lower prices.  You’re stress will be lighter and your wallet fuller.  And that is a great thing.

“Life is the greatest bargain- we get it for nothing.”

Posted in Best Of.

No comments

By lisa – December 8, 2011

Negotiating Your Salary

Have I freaked you out yet?  Are your hands turning clammy? Reaching for a candy bar and ready to escape into your happy place?  I don’t blame you.  Negotiating a salary is right up there with getting teeth pulled and doing your taxes.  However, if done correctly, you will be a happier (and richer) employee.

The first thing to consider is ‘What are people in my field making?’ Do your research.  It’s not hard to get a general idea of salary averages by looking up job postings.  Then, compare it to what you’re making.  If you are making less than average, you can use this data as ammunition when you enter the arena with your boss.

Next, write down exactly what you want and why you should get it.  This will help you organize your thoughts.  Some things to include:

*Your bottom line.  Write the lowest amount you want.  Then write the amount you will propose (which should be higher than your bottom line).  This will give you wiggle room.

*Other perks.  Want benefits? Include that in the negotiations.  Want paid vacation? Write it down too.  And one of the best perks? Education.  Asking your employer to pay higher education is invaluable.  Not only will it widen your knowledge of your field, it will give you a leg up on other employees when you want to move up in the company.

*Talk about what you deserve and NOT what you need.  Have you brought in a profit?  Tell them.  Widened their client base? Let them know.  Do not talk about how you need the money to pay child support, your mortgage, or your light bill.  Let them know your worth to the company, not your financial hardships.

*Extra experience.  If you’ve taken seminars, courses or workshops in your field, that gives you worth!  It shows your dedication to the company and desire to learn more.  You need to promote this.

Once you’ve gotten a clear and strong case written down, practice saying it to a friend or family member.  This may sound silly, but if you can say it out loud before pitching your case to your boss, it will be much easier on the day.  And ask for feedback.

And finally, be willing to compromise.  If this job is really worth it, know that you need to be flexible.  Sometimes, enjoying your work environment can make a huge difference in where you choose to work.   Just as important as knowing your worth, you should know your employers worth too.

“Find something you love to do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” Harvey Mackay

Posted in Financial.

No comments

By lisa – December 5, 2011

How To Negotiate Your Dental Bill

It is estimated that over 30% of Americans do not have dental insurance.  That’s more than 100 million people!  With unemployment high, inflation up and an economy in crisis, dental insurance can tend to be at the bottom of the priority list.  But you can only put off seeing one for so long.  And when your tooth gets infected or your son has a painful cavity, there isn’t much choice but to make an appointment.

Is it possible to negotiate the price of your visit? Yes!  One study found that only 10% of Americans negotiate their dental bill.  And of those, 64% are successful.  So how do they do it?  Most likely they are uninsured.  Dentists already take a cut from insurance companies and are less likely to give you a discount.  But if you’re uninsured, you have some wiggle room.  And make sure to ask these things before your visit, when you can still take your business elsewhere.

ASK FOR AN INSURED PATIENT’S PRICE

You have every right to ask for the same price that the dentist gets from the insurance company, which is usually 10-15% less.  Try asking, you may be surprised what they say.

PAYMENT PLAN

Ask your dentist if they will give you a 12 month payment plan, interest free.  They will still be getting a full price for the work but you can split it up, easing the burden on your wallet.

PAY IN FULL= DISCOUNT

Many dentists will give you up to 25% off the bill if you pay in full at the time of the visit.  If you have the ability to pay up front, it can save you cash in the long run.

REFERALLS

Ask your dentist if they’d be willing to give you a discount or ‘credits’ for referrals.  This works really well if your dentist is just starting out and trying to build up their practice.

BARTER

Maybe you have a flooring business or are a painter.  Try asking for a trade.  “I’ll redo the floor in your office for a new crown.”  This happens a lot among friends and can certainly be applied to the medical field.

All of these methods have worked.  But if negotiating with your dentist makes your stomach hurt, consider going to a dental school.  They are always cheaper and the students are supervised by a superior.  Either way, saving money is certainly a reason to smile.

Posted in Personal.

No comments

By lisa – December 1, 2011

Negotiating Credit Card Interest Rates

With so much negative energy surrounding banks and credit card companies, it’s easy to bury your head in the sand and try to ignore those pesky late notices for your credit card bills.  And with all the ABC banks being bought by XYZ, you’re flooded with letters and explanations of why your interest rates are changing.  It’s overwhelming.

However, it’s not a totally bleak situation.  You do have the power to negotiate the interest rate down.  Even though it’s true that banks and credit card companies are more worried about recouping their money with high interest rates than keeping customers happy, you can certainly make every attempt to lower the rate.  Below are a few tips to keep in mind.

  1. Know the going rates.  Do your homework and research the rates of other banks and credit card companies.  While you’ll most likely not get a 0% rate, you can very well get 10%.  And with many card rates at 20% or more, that drop will save you hundreds of dollars.
  2. Ask for a modification.  Many banks are allowing you to ‘modify’ your debt.  This means lowering the interest rate and closing the card.  You won’t be able to borrow against it anymore, but it is well worth it to get the rate lowered by 10%.
  3. Have another offer in your hand.  If you start the conversation off with “I have another offer, can you match it”, gives you an edge.
  4. Be willing to give.  If you explain to them that dropping the interest rate to 10% means you can pay an extra $20 over the minimum payment each month, they’ll know the benefit of dropping the rate.  And you will be closer to paying that debt off.
  5. Don’t be afraid to throw down the ‘B’ word.  That’s right.  Bankruptcy. If you calmly explain to them that you are financially struggling and if they don’t lower the rate there’s a good chance you’ll have to claim bankruptcy, you’ll be surprised at the reaction you get.  The banks and credit card companies do not want you to file bankruptcy because they get nothing.  It’s better to keep you making payments.

Feeling overwhelmed by debt, while an awful feeling, is very common right now.  Many people are in the exact same situation.  Knowing that you can work with these companies to ease some of the burden is a relief.  “Give your stress wings and let it fly away.” Terri Guillemets

Posted in Financial.

No comments

By lisa – November 29, 2011